Feminine Or Masculine?

    As you know, aku ada buat satu game kan? tu ba, game yang orang tanya aku jawab tu. Hahh! yang itu! heee. So, aku pun jalankan la misi dan visi ku ni promote game tu. Aku pun dengan muka excited pegi la buat moment di wechat. So tunggu punya tunggu, 5 minit awal tu oke lagi perasaan, Tapi sekali suda start masuk minit ke-10.42 saat rasa malu tu pun timbul la juga. HAHA. apa nda, ndada pun orang yang layan tu moment. haish, nda sporting! hahaha. *JOKE*

   Then tiba-tiba bestfriend school rendah pun menanya. Maka dengan itu, keluar la soalan seperti yang tertera di bawah. *malas taip balik. baca sendiri kayy.HAHA*

  Haaa. did you read it? HAHAHA. at first, when I read that question I was like. kuat? feminine? HAHAHA. terus dalam otak cakap, 'I am neither both!' Konok laa. hahaha. Jadi, aku pun pikir punya pikir dan pikir lagi terus dapat laa jawapan untuk soalan seakan-akan soalan spm paper Julai ni. heeee. The answer isssssss, baca sampai habis kayy.

       YES! I might seem strong according to the people around me. they even call me 'Darkness'. hahaha. Cannot blame them tho cause I realise how I treat them for all this while. And there's times when they say "si Deyla semboi." "siapa cakap kau perempuan? lelaki ba kau tu." "kau jangan cari laki, cari bini." hahaha. kayy. I know they're kidding but that's the truth. they never see me as a girl. and because of that, I can see why I have more guy-friends instead of girls. But a girl is a girl, no matter how hard people deny it, or how strong you show them. and you'll end up to break sometimes. sudah lumrah perempuan kan. hahaha

   Maybe the life-test that I've got makes me wanna be strong. I hate people see me weak. I wanted to show all of them how I can still stand up and be tough. scaring people so they don't mess up with me. and at the same time, I use that time to stay away from people. yeah, that's what I think before. be the strong yet a loner. hahaha. how pathetic am I :') but when I'm alone, I feel like I am the weakest person. I start to think, is this what I wanted to so badly? and that's how my head covered with stuff. I'm like the Dr. Jakyll and Mr. Hyde. hahaha.

   And yet, people change. everyone does. and because of this changes, keluar la ayat feminine tu kali. HAHA. Aku start kurangkan 'kejantanan' tu masa aku masuk sekolah menengah. Time tu aku first time ada kawan yang sejenis ni. memang betullah orang cakap kan. kawan ni kuat pengaruh nya. aku ingat lagi time aku baca novel. for the very first time ni. HAHA. even aku pun masi lagi terkejut. apa nda, aku ni buku nota pun tiada apa lagi mau baca novel. cinta-cinta lagi tu. hahahaha. time tu la juga aku first time pakai handkerchief. kalau sebelum tu memang baju seja la jadi mangsa ku. kalau di sekolah tu, abis belakang tudung sekolah bikin lap muka. hahaha. Then masa tu la juga aku rasa macam aku kena terima, at least aku berubah kearah positif la juga kan. *wahh! bangga saya. hahaha*

  But still, not all of me has change. I still have that toughness. hahaha. macam mana pun la "FEMININE" tu konon aku tunjuk still lagi orang pikir aku kasar. tu nama 'Darkness' tu, masa aku form 6 la tu aku dapat. HAHAHA. Sampai satu tahap tu, aku sendiri bingung dengan personaliti sendiri. Ada satu masa aku mau jadi 'gadis', wearing a nice dress, be pretty, flawless skin, boys see me as a lady. and ada satu masa semua perasaan tu bertukar 360 darjah. Aku benci pakai dress, aku benci make up, aku benci girly things ni. and I hate when boys try to catch my attention. it really sucks!

   So for the conclusion is, either I wanna be a tomboyish person or a girly one, at the end of the day I will always gonna be me. And this the precise answer I assume. I AM BOTH. I have a rough side and also the feminine side. Both have comes along since I birth. So no doubt about it. and I'm happy to be me. And if there's somebody ask me to change my character, the picture above have my answer :D

   oke, that's all. yadzlan, I hope you'll be happy with my jawapan yang panjang lagi mengelirukan ni. hahahahaha. and thanks for joining this game. I really appreciate it. and kalau balik Sabah jangan lupa jumpa kawan mu ni kesian. hahahaha. 

P/S: JZKK. kbai! HAHA

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♥ don't be a princess, be a WARRIOR ♥

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